Skip to content

Deducing the empty set of ‘philosophers’

This is a follow-up to a comment I made in my last post about you-know-who (we must pass over it in silence). I made a comment that there are no philosophers anymore (never was, maybe one). What I meant is just this: that there are no philosophers anymore. ‘Philosopher’ is of a kind with concepts like ‘unicorn’. I may have suggested this in an earlier post, but my suggestion is that the term be replaced by ‘philosophy people’. If that sounds boring I also came up with ‘philosophizers’. I might like that one better. Say that one a few times (out loud) and you’ll come to like it I think. ‘Philosopher’ refers to the Platonic idea of the philosophizer. ‘Philosopher’ doesn’t pick out anything in this, the actual, world. Hell, it might not even pick out anything in all possible worlds. I mean, how could there be? Now we have the strong claim that there are necessarily no philosophers.

Going against everything I just said, now that I think about it, the real problem might be in referring to oneself as a ‘philosopher’ without tongue-in-cheek. Putting these two ideas together we have ‘philosopher’ as the Platonic idea as well as being kinda alter-indexical, as in it can refer to anyone except me. As confirming evidence (even though evidence doesn’t confirm theories, we can make this exception I think) that this is correct we need only look at Socrates. Socrates is the Platonic idea of the philosopher without question, qualifications, and without any of ya’ll’s back-talk. This makes sense because Plato came up with Platonic forms, and he learned philosophy from Socrates, and his idea of what a philosopher is was based on Socrates. Therefore, Socrates is the Platonic form of the philosopher. (Starting to make some sense now, eh?) Also, Socrates claimed to have no wisdom and rather tried to extract wisdom from others (which makes sense, but a dumb idea nevertheless); therefore, he probably didn’t consider himself a philosopher. Therefore! Exactly what I said above (I don’t feel like trying to figure out what I was talking about).

THEREFORE, there are no philosophers. ESPECIALLY if you think you are one. If you think you are one then you MOST DEFINATELY are not one. See how that works? That’s like some zen shit or something. It’s that easy to do philosophy! That is our goal here at to show you the folks at home that you can do philosophy too. Now you know (and knowing is half the battle).

P.S. I am aware that the above made no sense. Therefore, if you laugh at me and point out how it doesn’t make any sense, it won’t hurt my feelings because I already know that.