The Year of Skankiness
This post is over a month old – something I started, but never finished, but here it is:
Take a look out the window. Doesn’t it look a little skankier than it did before? I’m talking general skankiness, and not any bullshit gender specific variety. For example, I just got home from vacation and there was a skanky blanket on my doorstep. It probably didn’t help that I got some smoked salmon for Christmas, and that was all I had to eat when I got back from the airport. But still, I’ve never gotten smoked salmon for Christmas before, so it still supports my point. Also, after I got back from vacation it was really humid and warm, so humid that it was beaded up and running down every surface around. Sweaty skank. Also, suddenly my jeans that I hadn’t washed for months since I bought them started smelling like mildew, and I can’t get rid of it.
Parallel to entropy (or perhaps identical with entropy) is an increase in skankiness. Look at movies from the 50’s or something compared to movies today. Clearly an increase in skankiness. Actually, on second thought, there must be cycles of skankiness. Cave men were probably pretty skanky. The primordeal soup had to be pretty skanky, but before the primordeal soup, the water probably wasn’t very skanky. The heat death of the universe doesn’t sound very skanky, but some time after the Big Bang, when all kinds of shit is going down like physical laws separating out, and unfathomable forces, atomic particles fused together, etc. that all sounds pretty skanky. The weather has been doing some skanky stuff in recent years you’d have to admit, but an ice age certainly isn’t skanky.
My impression has been that 2009 is pretty skanky. I would welcome any other confimatory evidence from my readership.
June 21st, 2010 at 10:50 pm
Dearest Ian,
Your Skank theory enabled my research into quantum particle dynamics to proceed. I learned that on the particle level, there is a definite skanky quality to all of the interactions, and as time goes on, they will (at a quantum, variable rate) increasingly skankify. Your work has enabled me to earn a Nobel Prize for Physics in 2010. Instead of giving you any credit, I’ll just thank you personally over the internet: Thanks! Me and my Nobel Prize are having a blast here thanks to your Skank theory.
Regards,
S.J. Smallson
PhD
June 22nd, 2010 at 12:33 am
Doesn’t surprise me a bit. Atoms aren’t very skanky, but quarks sound a bit more skanky. I bet if you get down deep inside a quark, it is unfathomably skanky.